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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?